SaSa 指间的月光

如果把生孩子列为13级疼痛的话。我现在承受的就是11级！！！牙痛！！

要不谁来杀了我，要不就来拯救我！

well...whenever i feel sick i got the home sick too...

it is not so easy to live by urself abroad. U got frustrated easily when u sick. Noone's here gonna take care of u. I miss mom now.

it is most difficult time for me to be strong be tough when i m sick, especially when i m stressed too. I got one exam and one essay due tmr. I worked full time today i m sooooo tried + sleepy and now i have to study in pain. My toothache is bothering me a lot. I probably will get a nasty mark on the exam plus late penatlies on my essay as a result. Do i look like a loser then? Seriously, i dont know wat i have been doing these day. It has been the most ridiculous days ever in my life. I need to go back to right track but it is so hard. Life's boring, love hurts. I miss home...

 

 

刚看到有同学在msn space上写起关于过年的感受。在外过年确实不容易。没有家人，没有半点过年团圆的喜庆。

但是，她却很幸福跟幸运的收到了红包。所谓幸福是指孤身在外，还能收到节日的祝福。幸运是指有那么一个人能了解她的感受，把温暖封进红包了给她。我能感受她把红包小心翼翼的压在枕头下的心情。真羡慕~

曾经，我也很想过年能收到红包。不是钱的问题，而是我想在这个让我特别想家节日里想感受到在家过年的感觉。年初一能拆红包，是种幸福，是种宠爱。但是我没有那分运气。虽然红包最后我是得到了，但却失去了含义。你永远不明白我当时的心情。所以当我看到她得到的红包，我分外羡慕。她的男朋友懂得了你不曾懂的东西。我的脆弱，你什么时候了解过呢？看着那张大大的红包相片，我鼻子一下子就酸了。

什么时候过年，我才能收到那样一个红包呢，我自己问自己，答案很明显，god knows...

 

忽然之间，又想起了你。。。

忧伤不期而至，让人措手不及。

是我自己软弱，也就今晚罢了。

 

now it is in the middle of my precious reading week but i have nth done. I worked on mon, tue and wed i have to say i m sooooo tried. I slept all the way up to 1 today still feel tired. Yesterday it took me 3 hrs to get to work because of the strom. The snow is like up to my knees omg. Well, yesterday it is the valentines day and s/o said a lot bullshits to me which doesnt make any sense and made my day worse. I just dont understand why he can be so selfish, maybe just i feel tht but seriously, i would never do tht in my life. I have to say wat i think wat i feel only applies to myself only, same is wat u think and feel only applies to u so why u told me tht and why i need to know abt it. Is it an announcement or sth? If u want to tell me sth is a  FACT then say it but dont say sth the glorifies u ok? BULLSHIT!! If u really care abt it then prove it otherwise shut up and leave me alone. yeah, i got pissed so u happy now?

 

suen le, let's talk about sth happy, finally Chinese New Year is coming...wish everyone a good year!! Good luck my friends. Wish myself dreams come true!! YEAH!!

周末在家，居然没怎么出去过，真是有点浪费。

妈妈昨天问我是不是这几天心情又不好了，我的反映是，我心情怎么会不好，我天天不是上班就是上学，不是喝酒就是逛街吃饭，时间排的满满的。根本不容许我不开心。再加上，我确实挺开心的，自由自在，想干嘛干嘛。不需要考虑其他人的想法，爽。

多伦多好冷啊，但是我还是买了两条短裙，都不知道多少年没穿过那么短的裙子了。证明我变瘦了，开心。

妈妈走了我天天不知道吃啥，所以东吃吃，西吃吃的，昨天还吃到了超级好吃的蟹粉小笼包，开心。

上班的地方大家都挺好，也不忙，工资也不错，开心。

过完这个星期就到了期待已久的reading week，开心。

到处在大减价，买了超级多好看又便宜的衣服，开心。

就连上次去origins买东西，第一次收到sales给的sample，开心。

所以说我有什么好不开心。妈妈你真是多虑了。

 

look at this. I was losing the watever game yesterday, and today, i lost my tiffany bracelet. I guess i just couldnt keep thouse good stuff for long. I always lose things i like, such as diamond. Now, tiffany is gone also and the most ridiculous thing is i dont even know when and how i lost it. I could not even remember when is the last time i saw it on my wrist. Well...maybe it is a good thing tho cuz there's a saying like破财挡...hahah...let me buy a new one to myself!! hmmm...a gift for valentine for myself isnt a bad idea =P Or~~~who ever gets me the tiffany wins to be my BF!! How's tht sound guys?? hahahahha...i know i m greedy^^

yeah...i feel tht i m losing it now...i m losing my favourite game.

i knee down to pray but nth happens...

could do nth eventho i know i m losing it. feel frustrated

i dont see the light and dont know if there's one

waiting doesnt do anything but tht's the only thing i can do

life's boring and disappointing...well...yes

在office上班还真是像传闻中的轻松。偷懒绝对没人知道。去去厕所，喝喝咖啡，上上网一天就过去了。但是挺邪门的是昨天我上班的时候脑海里就一直想着我今天会割到手，i cut my finger!!结果我后来真的被割到了，还是被纸割的，我当时简直无语了，割破手事情很小，但是怎么那么邪门呢？还有一个预感，不能说预感，只能说画面吧，一直在我脑海缠绕，其实不算太坏的画面，但是绝对能往不好的方面联系起来。我不敢说。想起来有点怕。但是从小到大我都不是什么所谓的灵异体质啊，可能一切只是碰巧罢了。哈，怎么没有649的号码在我脑海里浮现呢？我又不贪心，中了100W就可以了。

每到年底，情人节前超级多人搞分手，我自己没逃出这个厄运就算了，身边的人怎么也都这样啊，不喜欢的人为什么要在一起，既然在一起了又为什么还爱着别人？快结婚的人为什么一直出轨，而知道别人要结婚的为什么要那么执着？人总不能忘记过去，通常是你越想忘记就越忘不记，越不想去想就越在想。大家你折磨我我折磨你，我爱你，你爱他，他跟你在一起但是又爱这个另外一个。这样的感情乱的可以拍电影。我很庆幸，我不是主角。

今天下了班跟zeanal直接杀去了eaton center，两人冲进abercrombie，拿了一堆衣服就去了fitting，我只想说，A & F的size真的很小。我穿L都觉得紧！！我还是减肥成功呢，我以前的话估计连他家的门都不用进。。。

最后我买了件超级减价的小top，属于超级曝露的那种，露手露背露胸，我手不粗背不厚但是我胸不大呀哈哈哈哈，但是还是买了，一定会在夏天穿它之前隆胸成功滴！！

最后给大家推荐两首歌，“眷恋”跟“真实”，可以听的流眼泪。。。

 

最近有人说我多愁善感，哈，难道我之前给大家的感觉很疯疯癫癫吗？可能是，因为我那时候年轻

乜也系恋爱，什么是恋爱？

好友也失恋了，其实她不叫做失恋，她根本没恋过。一个人的独角戏演的好累。

其实两个人的电影，剧本不好，也注定是个失败的结局。

先说男人，越来越精明是一定的。掏心掏肺，真心一片，海誓山盟都是上个世纪的事情了吧。哪个男生不花心，哪个男生不现实？问题是花心的人要比你理直气壮，问题是做错事情还更有道理，问题是越花心约多人爱。我真不懂了，大家都犯什么傻呢？

再说女人，哎，我不知道还有多少个女人对爱情存在幻想，反正我是彻底清醒了，那些还没醒过来的简直不知道说他们是幸运还是不幸，两个人在一起，结局只能有两种，什么天荒地老的我是一点都不信，起码我不觉得自己有那种幸运。那如果说结局都是要分开，那我们一开始就不用活的那么矜持那么高贵。

到最后，女人算计男人的同时男人也成长了也算计着女人，双方互相算计个没完没了。这样爱来爱去的有意思吗？

爱的意义我越来越不懂了，可能我从来没有懂过

看不懂我写什么的人，恭喜你们，你们还生活在童话的世界里，希望你们的梦永远不会碎。

有共鸣的，握个手。为我们失去的天真哭泣，也为我们得到的智慧欢呼。。。

 

 

yeah, never gamble ur heart, cuz  u cant afford it.

life teaches me one thing, let it be and let it go~~

just do it if u are happy with it...cuz u have to know tht happy is the ultiimate goal of life..i would do watever to achieve it

and to u, just like the dream of mine, i know wat i m doing but i just cant help...but i know wat it is the right thing to do...but i just wanna say tht if u care me enough, time will prove....

never gamble ur heart, cuz u may win, and lose, at the same probability...

谢谢B6做给我的生日礼物，感动的泪水一直掉下来。谢谢你们那么用心的帮我准备这个礼物。千金难买！！

非常感谢大家在我失落的时候给我送上及时的安慰，让我知道在这世上我并不孤单。我知道我自己很任性很自私但谢谢你们一直的包容。我知道我个性很怪很烦很难搞，谢谢你们一直的忍耐。

其实真正的好朋友，平时不见得要天天联系，但是困难时一两句的问候就能让我觉得温暖不少，一两句的提醒就能让我清醒。

你们的礼物让我阴霾的心情放晴好多。

今天陈洁说的一句话我觉得很有道理，她说两个人寂寞时互相慰藉其实也只是互相利用，彼此应该知道轻重跟分寸。没想到，我觉得我们B6之中一向最幼稚的陈洁都能说出那么成熟的话。谢谢你的提醒，我会记在心中的！~^^

最后希望我最爱的朋友们，幸福！

今天我上了很重要的一节课

谢谢上天在我生日的这一天把这个教训带给我

我会记住这一天，并在心底默默许愿，希望明年的这天，我能够改变。

最后谢谢各位在2006年爱我的关心我的朋友，是你们让我坚强。也谢谢那些讨厌我恨我的人们，是你们让我成长。

2006带给我的太多太多了，多的我闭上眼睛，沉着呼吸，压着心跳都忘记不了。

2007的第一天，我的生日，我很难过很伤心很气愤，最后也很高兴，因为我相信之后的每天没有一天会比今天更加的糟糕了。

这样的想的话，今天也算是个不错的开始。

期待新的一年

每年都有最后一天，最后一天的明天是我的生日。

真是岁月如梭，一年那么快又过去了。

恩，明天我23岁。祝自己生日快乐！~

不想长大是歌词，也是我的生日愿望。曾几何时，我们那么热切的盼望成长，那么希望能够成熟。但当你不再能幼稚，不再能秩嫩的时候，不想长大反而变成了最奢侈的愿望。

年小的时候追求浪漫，以为爱情的甜美总会有的。现在不得不承认，爱情只会变的越来越现实。年纪越大，浪漫就越不切实际。

年小的时候放逐梦想，以为有梦才有力量。现在不得不承认，梦想只是梦境，能实现的人像是中了头奖，机会渺茫。

年小的时候的美梦太多，以为会慢慢得以实现。当美梦一个个破灭的今天才认识到，失望是上帝最常给我们的礼物。

明天23岁，希望自己能有个特别的一年，当然是特别好的特别。

希望自己学业进步，家人身体健康，朋友开心快乐。

我不想长大。。。

 

今天又到了校庆，117年了。

还是不能回去，挺想念同学老师的。好友说会帮我照很多很多的相片，给我看看学校老师同学的变化。

其实，再多的相片都不及一个拥抱带来的温暖真实。

好想念大家，好想念那段智嫩的时光，好想念那时的我们。

那时侯，每一天都活的好充实。。。

 

 

i m somewat confused now...i dun know wat's the situation now and dun know how to do abt it...well...i guess i just get used the my new life, i guess i just stop being depressed, i guess i just put all my attention on other stuff...but now...i m confused again...

我发现我吃错药了根本。。。昨天前天一直大伤风什么都闻不到鼻子超级塞，吃了N颗药都不见好传只见严重。今天早上上学太匆忙忘了吃药晚上回来居然鼻子不塞了，人背起来真是没办法~不过倒是咳起来了，不知道是不是细菌从鼻子侵入到咽喉了。。。#$%$#@

今天去学校，人人见到我都说我瘦了，哈，爽！不过不知道是不是瘦在胸上了，所以那么明显@_@

哎。。。心情好多了，反正日子还是要过的嘛~今天上班时，跟隔壁中东大叔闲聊的欢，明白了无数个关于中东的问题，收获真大啊~恩，爱情不开心就放一个假吧，希望能早日康复！

最后，谢谢大家对我的鼓励关心！！我会加油好起来的！^^

Ok, I have a good news to all the ppl here who care about me, which is I havent cry for the whole day today. ^^Again, thanks everyone who came to comfort me, i really appreciate the supports and loves from u guys! And I m so lucky to have my mom here with me  these days when i m really really depressed. Oh, another good news is tht i lost 4 lbs since the broke up, which is the only happy thing in my life now...^^

I m so afraid of going to bed these days, because when i lay down on the bed, i really have nth to do so all the sadness comes up and takes over my mind. All the memories are hurting me like crazy...i havent been sleeping well for couple days already, so if i could make a wish, i just want to have a good sleep from today...a sweet sweet dream without u hurting me...

It just appears tht you seemed to move on easy...which doesnt make any sense. No, maybe it does, just i didnt know it b4...Ok, let me make a deal with myself, one more week to overcome this, no more tears after tht i promise. And the thing i dont get is, why i feel so sad, even worse than u when it is myself who wants the break up...yeah...u just seemed to move on easy...so easy...

I know it is gonna hurt, but i dont know it would be tht much

i know it is gonna be painful, but i dont know it would be like this

it is a hard time for me to go through it cuz i never know there's a ending like this for us

yet it might be good...but it still hurts

thanks to all the ppl who sent their cares and loves to me...i truly appreciate tht

but幸灾乐祸的人除外...

I am officially SINGLE now...which means, i m AVAILABLE now...

YAY...feel excited to my new life!!

最后，庆祝我的宝贝zeanal找到理想的工作！！让男人见鬼去吧！

well...i dont know how to say abt this. If u arent the one who come to me when i need u, if u arent the one who comfort me when i m down, and if u arent the who think of my position first, why do i need u to be my closest one?? If u arent here to make me happy, if u arent here to gimme the strenghth, if u arent here to gimme supports, why do i need u to be the special one?

Maybe u might think i m selffish, maybe u might think i only care for myself, maybe u might it is unfair to u, but all i want to say here is the world is never fair to everyone. Dont ever tell me tht i treat u like shit but u treat me like babie, listen, if u really care abt me, u would never said so. U dont know tht u are the one who is changed, u dont know tht u arent the one u used to be...things are not gonna work out if u only care for ur side. It has to be a way to solve the problem, but i dont know how...i just feelpissed and much more...disappointed...

I spent my whole day doing sth is only worth 2%... sometimes i dont know what the prof. is doing at lectures, she's like trying to put all the BIG stuff together in one class and then expects us to do all the readings, write the responses and do the analysis at home. And she FORCES us to use the stupid Webct. Does she think we are talking her class only??? She puts so much rules on sth only worth 2% and i doubt that is it worthy that i put so much efforts on sth is that lil weight. BUT...i m done finally... BUT...I still have other 7 to finish in total!! So...So...So...i hate the course in this way %$#*&%$#